Healing our generational financial curses is an important step toward transforming our relationship with money. As millennials, we grew up in a vastly different financial trajectory than our parents did, and the lessons they learned about money may no longer apply.
I remember growing up our parents gave us $1 maybe $2 if we were lucky to go down to the bodega after school for a snack. We could buy a quarter juice, a bag of chips, and some 5-cent candies – all for a single dollar. Now, times have changed, and going to the corner will be easily $5 if not more.
Many of our parents came to a foreign country to raise a family, carrying with them their own scarcity beliefs and experiences with money.
Unless your parents are willing to speak about it, we may never know the things they had to endure to get to the present moment. If we want to continue to progress in what generational wealth looks like, we must determine what our limits are and how to change them.
Understanding Your Roots: The Importance of Knowing Your First and Second-Generation Story
First things first, let’s define what is first-generation and second-generation actually mean. First-generation immigrants are the first-born in a foreign country that is the first to migrate to someplace like the United States for example and become a citizen. Second- Generation are the children born from the first generation. I am Second-generation Dominican American as I was born in the States but both my parents were born in the Dominican Republic and migrated over to New York City in the early 80s.
As a Second-generation growing up, I grew up seeing one parent who was a big spender and wanted to provide every experience no matter the price tag which could end up being in debt. On the other hand, I had another parent that was super frugal all the time. This became extremely difficult to comprehend as a child how to manage my money because I got both ends of the spectrum.
The Origin of Your Money Story: How Your Past Shapes Your Financial Future
As soon as I turned 18, I remember getting my first credit card, it was a Mandee’s Store card (does anyone remember this store?) it had a $500 credit limit and I thought I was ballin’. From there, I decided that if I wanted to buy anything, I didn’t save up for it, so I opened a credit card for it. This is because I saw this side of the spectrum growing up, the answer was to put it on a credit card and worry about it later, and so that’s what I did.
This is where my money story begins. Do you know yours? I invite you to reflect on your own story and what are the feelings that come up.
Rewriting Your Money Narrative: How to Change Your Money Past and Prepare for the Future
Now that you understand your story, how can we change our generational money wounds? Knowing our past cycle of money is essential because it is the only way to change our financial behaviors. Many of us have feelings of guilt and feeling stuck because we feel like no one taught us and sometimes we can feel that we are destined to stay there. This mind frame keeps us in a continuous loop just like our parents even though it is not what is aligned with what we want. Let’s take a bit of a deeper dive into this.
The money talks I had with my parents were very basic. “Make sure your bills are paid and save your money.” These are vague statements with no real action behind them. No offense to them but they did not know better and that’s OK. This is not something I will hold against them because they did the best they could with the information and experience that they had. Now that we have released the hold that these statements have brought on us, how can we create a healthy relationship with money?
Now, let’s change the story. If I could go back to the age of 18 when I first opened my credit card, I would tell myself, I am responsible enough to handle a $500 spending limit. I have paid myself first by saving and investing a percentage. I have already prepared a plan to pay this purchase off. I have changed the story from not knowing how I was going to pay off my first credit card purchase to now establishing a confident relationship.
Currently, I do not hold any resentment for my past money mistakes. I am a continuous student of money. I handle my financial responsibilities to the best of my ability. I am confident in how I changing the trajectory of my future. My financial dreams are worth pursuing.
Being prepared and confident with money is key especially when you are young because it takes away the guilt of spending for things you like. But, it also empowers us to not be afraid to do unconventional things that our parent’s never taught us like investing. We can invest in things like continued education, building a business, and investing in the stock market.
The past has been rewritten. The present is ours to change. These changes will hold what we want our future would look like.
Our financial stories will continue to evolve just as every generation before us. We are here now because we are the game changers, we have so many more opportunities and education than our parents ever did. Today is the day to let go of the guilt and insecurities of what could have been and take charge and say “Look at what I did.”
Conclusion
We can change our story. We are not held by the definition of our parents’ dreams and beliefs. We can own our story and change it. Financially, we can continue to build. We can move forward by taking control of our money story and understanding how we can flip it and make it work for us. No one can even take that away from us, not even our parents. We are not controlled by our past mistakes. It’s a continuous journey and it will not change overnight. Every day we get up and make the choice that we want more and it’s safe to do so.
